So what happens when it all gets too much?

This morning I woke up and it was ‘one of those days’. No reason I can think of as business is going well and getting busier, I have great customers, great friends and great family. So what is there to feel down about? Who knows, so I’ll just put it down as ‘one of those days’ and blame my hormones.

As I was feeling sorry for myself (one voice thinking up all the negative things and the other trying valiantly to counteract each argument) it got me thinking. I know for a fact that I’m not the only one that has these sorts of moments, I know many people who can go days, or even weeks, with these sorts of negative thoughts running through their head when if you could just flick the switch from negative to positive the world would look like a completely different place. I’m thankful that 99% of the time I live in a positive space and only dip into negative thought patterns now and then.

So what can we do to shift our mindset when we get into these negative moments?

Well there is of course the option to wallow in this sorrowful state, but what good is that to anyone? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not suggesting that your should block your emotions (that will only come back go bite you on the bum later on!), more that you should accept them, feel them, let them flow through you and then find a way move on.

So here’s a few ways that might help you make that shift:

Mindfulness

Mindfulness is definitely a good thing to practice when you’re feeling down. Try finding a quiet space to listen to a guided meditation or do your own. Even 1 minute just focusing on your breath can help soothe the soul and take the edge off. You can read more about mindfulness here.

Friends

You know the ones you can count on to lift you up when you’re feeling down. Make time to meet up or have a chat on the phone or over the net. It’s not about moaning about the bad things, more talking up the good things and working together to remind you all the reasons why life is good.

Pamper yourself

Everyone has different likes and dislikes when it comes to pampering. Personally I love a massage or a short while lightly cooking in a sauna. Theres also something luxurious about having a bath and then curling up on or in your bed to read a good book! Whatever floats your boat, make some time to give yourself some ‘me time’ love.

Get out and about

Getting some fresh air is usually a good way to get your mind off stuff or help you work through it. Stretch you legs on a walk somewhere beautiful, maybe take your bike or horse out for a ride or even go for a run to run off those blues.

Sleep

With the rush of everyday life it’s easy to get caught up in it all and lose some sleep. Try a short ‘cat nap’ or if you need it a full blown sleep to help you clear your mind and catch up on some much needed Zzzz’s. It may be that with that extra sleep tomorrow really will be a better day.

Hugs

It’s been proven that humans thrive when they receive hugs daily. So go grab yourself a hug and give both yourself a your hug-ee a little huggable boost.

So if you’re feeling down, overwhelmed or any other negative feeling, remember you’re not alone. There are loads more great ways to help shift yourself into a different mood and I’d love to see what you do yourself to help lift your own, or others, spirits. Please comment below with your own suggestions…

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Author: Sophie Jewry
Need help with your business brand? Find out more here:

Sophie

Inspirational Speaking… and All That Jazz!

So yesterday I joined 6 other entrepreneurs who were all speaking at City College Norwich to a group of 100+ students, as part of the ‘Positive Image‘ campaign, created by Sarah Harding to help empower young people.

We each had a 30 minute slot to speak and in total over 550 students attended talks during the day and gave fantastic feedback afterwards.

So what did I speak about?

Well I shared with my journey from teendom through to where I am today, including lots of the good and bad times that got me here. I then went on to speak about values and how important it is to live your life in line with your values, those instinctive ideas that tell you what is good, bad, right or wrong in your life and the essence of who we are. These are pretty much hard-wired into us and if you’re not working in line with them you’re going to end up pretty miserable!

Then I went on to speak about beliefs and how we create so many beliefs all the time that we think are true. That we believe are part of who we are. That in reality are nothing but generalisations about experiences that we’ve had, that we’ve chosen to make into a belief (consciously or unconsciously).

I gave an example of being bitten by a dog as a small child and how that child might then create a belief that all dogs are bad and carry this belief through their whole life. This belief then may morph into a strong phobia of dogs that has a huge impact on their life, until death.

Now, most of us know, rationally, that the majority of dogs are lovely and it’s just a few you need to be careful of. Yet fear and phobias don’t work on a rational level and if we create a negative belief and we then build on that it can have far reaching consequences.

Then we flipped it and looked at positive beliefs and how we are in control of what we believe, whether we believe it or not! That we have the power to pick up or let go of beliefs as and when we choose. We just need to make that choice and take action towards achieving it (i.e. see an NLP/life coach/hypnotherapist etc or make small stepping stone changes daily yourself).

So how great would it be to choose positive beliefs instead of negative ones?

How great would it feel if you truly loved yourself and whenever you were faced with a decision, you chose the positive belief over the negative?

Just imagine how such positive choices could affect your life and not only your own life, but the lives of the people around you too.

So what can you choose to believe today that is positive?

After beliefs I spoke about Law of Attraction (LOA) and that by giving off positivity we attract it back to us.

Now I was pretty amazed when I asked the room who had heard of LOA and not one hand went up. So this was potentially the first time the these 100+ students had heard about this powerful mindset.

Anyone who knows me, knows that I am a great believer in LOA and have seen it in action time and time again. So I was in my element explaining how it can be used to benefit life.

I gave a few hints and tips about choosing to be nice to people. To compliment instead of insult. To remember that you do not have any idea what is going on in someone else’s’ life or mind and that your words might have a massive impact on their day, week, month, year, or even life! It is that important. Your snide remark may stay with that person for their whole life (see beliefs above!). You just don’t know. The world has enough problems and we need to be empowering others, not dragging them down. So choose your words carefully and empower rather than degrade whenever you can.

Remember:

Is it true?
Is it helpful?
Is it inspiring?
Is it necessary?
Is it kind?

If it is none of the above then why say it? Think what your agenda is by saying something that could hurt. What is happening inside you that makes you want to make others feel pain?

They say that perception is projection, in other words, what we see in others is what we dislike/want to change about ourselves. Perhaps next time you feel the urge to say something less than positive, take the time to ask yourself what it is in you that makes you feel that way about the person you are speaking to. It can be very enlightening, if a little uncomfortable at times!

And it didn’t end there (yes they were still engaged with me, for which I am hugely thankful).

I then moved on to goals and goal setting. One of the teachers said they had ‘tasks’ they were used to setting but not SMART goals.

I wanted them to think outside of the school box and look at long term goals that were in line with their values – and of course a little Law of Attraction doesn’t go amiss in this potent mix either!

So we looked at powerful goal setting:

S = Specific
M = Measurable
A = As if now
R = Realistic / Relevant / Responsible
T = Timed

and how they could use this for when they’re job hunting, planning grades etc.

Of course I had to mention that it’s all very well using these techniques and thinking, for example, I’ve set a goal to get a great job, and then doing nothing and thinking it will manifest. With the best will in the world that just ain’t gonna work! Or at least the likelihood of it is greatly reduced.

If you set a goal you then have to take MASSIVE action towards achieving it. You want that great job? Set your goal and then get out there. Network, send off applications, get on LinkedIn, JobHop and other online agencies. Take action and you will active your goal. I’ve seen it happen many times and it is always an amazing feeling when you get it!

So we had to wrap it up at this point and I kept thinking on the way home how many things I could’ve, should’ve said but there just wasn’t time – I spoke for 35 minutes in the end and it’s amazing how short a time that really is.

It was so lovely to have some of the students come up to me afterwards and say that they found it inspiring (what is a better compliment than that from a 16-18 year old!). We even had a lull between me and the next speaker and a few said I could continue as they were enjoying it – it’s so nice to be wanted! 😉

There is something quite magical about working to empower other people, especially the next generation. If we can empower them when they’re still young, just think what they could achieve!

Life is too short to be riddled with negative beliefs and surrounding yourself with negative people.

Get out there and LIVE!

Be around people who support and empower you and you you can in return support and empower them too.

Enjoy life – it’s there to be lived and enjoyed.

Climb out of the box and inject some serious positivity into your life – you just never know where it may lead you!

I could get used to this inspirational speaker malarkey!

You can find out more about the Positive Image campaign here: http://www.timetolookbeyondthemirror.co.uk/

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Author: Sophie Jewry
http://www.theholisticdirectory.co.uk

The Perpetual Dieter

Weight loss is all about burning more calories than we consume. Right?
So why is it so difficult?
And why has weight been on my mind all my life?
Why is it a constant struggle for me and for others?

I used to say that I was born overweight, but the reality was that I was a normal healthy weight but I grew into an overweight child. A tubby child. A child who had the mickey taken out of her at school and a child that hated sport and any form of exercise or physical activity. And it’s true to say that my hatred of sport and physical exercise has continued. To this day I don’t get that ‘buzz’ that people talk of after a gym session or a run, or the increase in energy that others talk about.

But I do get that ‘buzz’ when I lose weight!! But the thought of eating vegetables and salad (I was never a big lover of these foods) and depriving myself of the foods that I love fills me with dread and makes me grumpy. I used to go to endless lengths to hide the foods from those that I didn’t want to eat (I used to hide vegetables in the cheese plant at my mum and dad’s as we didn’t have a dog!) to those that I ate in secret (a chocolate bar hidden amongst my underwear – after all if no-one saw me eat it then it wouldn’t matter!)

When I went on a diet food was always on my mind and occupied my every waking moment! And if I ate something that I shouldn’t have done then I used to chastise myself and tell myself I deserved to be this way. If I couldn’t have what I wanted or was faced with a plate of unappetising food, again the self-hatred would drown out my reasons for wanting to be slimmer. And the scales each week became my enemy. The dial seemed to be stuck or only ever went up!

Since then I have learnt to accept myself for who I am. I am no stick insect and never will be. But I have learnt to understand my relationship with food. I eat when I am bored, I eat when I am lonely, I eat when I am upset and I celebrate with food when I am happy. I eat when I am stressed, I reach for calorie laden (nice tasting) foods when I am tired and I HAVE to clear my plate (even when I am stuffed) just so that I can have a pudding. The list goes on…

The Solution

Yes the key to losing weight is burn more calories than you consume. But unless you understand your relationship with food and change these habits as well it will be an uphill struggle.

So to be more successful at achieving your ideal weight look at the issues that have prevented you from getting there (and staying there) in the past. For example, if you eat for other reasons besides being hungry then visualise your stomach as a balloon, and ask yourself how inflated this balloon really is. Is it completely empty or so full that one more breath of air will cause it to pop. Visualising your stomach in this way during a meal can also be used to signal that it’s time to stop eating.

Hypnotherapy is a powerful tool to help you change your relationship with your food forever. By working at an unconscious level you can literally change how you think. When you have your first session with a hypnotherapist you are taking the first step on the road to having a healthy relationship with food and increasing your own self confidence. Leading you to a life where ‘diet’ is not part of your vocabulary.

Article by: Lisa Williams
Stockport Counselling & Hypnotherapy
Online and face-to-face counselling and tailor-made hypnotherapy packages
www.stockportcounselling.com

The Power of Words

Have you ever thought about how powerful you really are? Well, I can tell you that we hold a power within us that has the ability to lift spirits, destroy dreams and everything in between. And that power is WORDS.

Have you noticed how the bad ones stick and the good ones, well, we like hearing them but we tend to get embarrassed and pass them off as perhaps being a half truth? Crazy though it is, so many of us have done this more than once in our lives.

Have you ever thought about the power your words contain and what far-reaching influences they can have on other people?

I’ll tell you a story* that may give you some food for thought:

Several summers ago a teacher was sitting on a sea wall resting after a long hike along the coast path. She was eating a sandwich and observing what was happening on the beach and she spotted two little boys, about six years old, playing together. They’d been running around for a while, having fun and now, a little tired from their activities, they sat down near the teacher and began talking.

Perhaps they’d just met, as children do on holiday; regardless when or where they met, they had a lot to talk about. Finally, one said to the other “What do you want to be when you grow up? I’m going to be a brain surgeon.”

“Gosh I don’t really know. I’ve never thought about it. I’m not very bright, you know.”

The wind took the rest of the conversation away and the teacher was left wondering where that second little boy had developed that limiting belief about himself. Probably from another teacher! Or a parent. At the age of six, if he doesn’t change that belief, or if someone else doesn’t help him to change it, it will affect the rest of his life, limiting his sense of possibility, holding back his potential.

Beliefs are not true. They are constructs around which we organise our behaviours. So we each behave as if our beliefs were true. And for this reason all our beliefs come true, for beliefs, whether empowering or limiting, are self-fulfilling prophecies.

Sit with that for a while and consider then, the power of your own words and perhaps how you can use that power to help and to empower others. To lift people’s spirits and to help them believe that anything is possible and that they can indeed be, regardless of their age, anyone they want to be – for if they can believe it, they can achieve it!

“Be the change you want to see in the world.” Mahatma Gandhi

Love and blessings

Sophie

*The Two Little Boys:
Primary Source: The Magic of Metaphor by Nick Owen
Secondary source: NLP at Work by Sue Knight